“Click on me” to the tune of Bill Withers’ “Lean on Me”. Judging by the plummeting number of likes, readership dropped off a cliff when I stopped posting directly to Facebook yesterday. Today I’ll present the link from my blog in a way that may attract more friends to read on.
Today’s photo is the brunch I laid out on my sun-splashed dining table for an old friend who visited late this morning to talk about internet dating. I served omelettes with goat feta, Kalamata olives and fresh tomatoes, beside the Moroccan carrots I made yesterday, with a side salad of baby power greens. He brought my favourite poppy square from Sabra kosher deli. He is tentatively entering the world of online dating and wanted to learn more about how it works. I’ve been mostly single since 1993 and began online dating about 1997; I have a lot of experience on a number of sites. No enduring success, but I did meet my last girlfriend on Match.com.
At brunch, my friend asked how my heart was able to handle date after date in the search for a partner. Facetiously, I said I’ve become insensitive, but more seriously I said I’ve learned to be emotionally resilient. In university days, we rubbed shoulders in classes and campus events with many people we could potentially get close to romantically. But outside of that environment there are much fewer opportunities to connect.
Of course, I keep my eyes open doing the things I love, like tennis, sacred chanting, music festivals and being involved in my spiritual community. But internet dating sites give me access to much wider circles of possibilities. First meetings are usually at a cafe, and if there is mutual interest, we may move on to a first real date. With no spark, we can wish each other well and try, try again. I’m not looking for perfection, but I remain optimistic that I will meet a wonderful woman who I can connect with on every level – emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual.
This afternoon, I drove to the Savary Island Pie Company in West Vancouver to meet M., who I had written to through OKCupid. She’s an attractive and interesting woman, but I could tell she wasn’t interested in me. That’s never clear until you actually meet. In any case, we may play tennis sometime, and she suggested one of her friends might want to meet me. You never know.
Yesterday’s post drew a comment from Pat, who I met on a press trip for travel writers: “How about a background profile. Who is Lorne Mallin and what got him to 69.” I’ll take a crack at that Monday.